Blog

  • Navigating Long Distance Relationship

    Despite Long Distance Relationship (LDR) isn’t what commonly preferred or planned for, sometimes it just happens.

    Most common types of LDR

    • The couple met each other in person first, usually they travelled to a same place and met each other there, then entered a LDR afterward.
    • The couple has been a LTR in person, but one person or both people need to move far away from each other for work or study.
    • The couple met each other online before meeting each other in person, fell hard for each other and entered a LDR before meeting in person.

    Challenges of Long Distance Relationship

    Beside the regular difficulties that any relationship may face, a LDR has extra:

    • The lack of physical touch, including holding hands, kissing, having sex can be difficult for many couples.
    • Time zone difference can be challenging. One person might be sleeping or working during the time the other person has free time and can talk.
    • Visiting and spending time with each other isn’t always easy to arrange due to money and time.
    • It may take a long time or unidentified time to close the gap.
    • To close the gap, it requires a lot of sacrifices from one or both sides.
    • It’s easier to be more doubtful, or the two people can grow apart from each other due to not being able to see each other regularly.
    • The long distance partner might not be a real person with genuine interest, they might be scammer, catfish, or they may cheat.

    Despite all of that, many people still choose LDR because

    Reasons many people choose LDR

    • They feel strongly connected with their LD partner that they couldn’t easily have with anyone else.

    What to do in a LDR

    Unless you have met and dated each other in person, if you only met your long distance partner online, you should be sure that the other person is real with genuine interest.

    • You need to feel free and be able to ask any question to verify the person. If they avoid or get piss off with you asking any question about who they are, what they do, where they live, etc, consider it a red flag.
    • You need to be able to video calls each other, receive pics of each other. If they avoid sending pic and/or video call, consider it a red flag.
    • You need to have a plan to meet in person, and there need to be the efforts to make it happen. If they don’t want to meet in person, or keep delaying it with different reasons, consider it a red flag.
    • For extra security and peace of mind, after a while, you should know these from each other: email address, phone number, full address, contact of a friend or family member that can be used in emergency situation.

    Where to discuss about LDR

  • Navigating online dating

    In the past, dating, courtship and romantic relationship mostly happened between people who have met in person, either from work, or in the neighborhood, or via introduction, or travel. Nowadays, online dating is getting more and more common, despite one wants it or not.

    Online dating provides more choices and convenience for people to seek a relationship, but it also comes with challenges. To navigate online dating, you need to

    Know what you want

    Knowing what you want isn’t only about the partner that you’re looking for, but about your life plan for the rest of your life. It ties to where do you want to live, work, do you want to have or have more children.

    Having some good ideas about the person you’re looking for: age range, characters, their career status, where they are in their life and where do they want to go. Last but not least, their physical appearance. Despite not wanting to be shallowed, you do need to have certain level of physical attraction to create and carry on a relationship.

    Communicate well

    Manage how you feel

  • Philosophy for community building

    Purpose

    • To help make sense of one’s self, others, and the world around, adding purpose to life.
    • To help connect people, ideas, dreams
    • To build communities for growth, support, connect, building something greater than ourselves

    Idea

    One in person meet up and one online meet up per week

    Set up

    2 hours of meet up in person at a cafe/park/public place, following by going to a low cost near by restaurant for food if anyone wishes. Sat afternoon or Sun morning

    40-min free zoom meet up Wed evening

    Location

    Hanoi

    Community

    Topics